LIVE LIKE YOU WERE DYING

DREADED CALL

I’ll never forget getting that phone call on December 7, 2013. I just knew I was going to get good news. I was confident because that’s the way my life has been – good news. I saw the doctor’s number appear on my cell phone and he said “Paul, I hate to tell you. You have cancer and you may only have three years to live.”

He said a few other things, but what I remember is “You have cancer. You have three years  to live.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. And my mind immediately went to the things that I hadn’t done but still wanted to do: I want to see my kids get married, I want to meet my grandkids, I still have a lot of life left in me.

I had lived for a long time thinking, God, if my life ended sooner, I couldn’t complain. It has been such a good life. But in light of that conversation, I felt fearful, as I thought, ‘now God knows I think this way.’

GOD CAUSES EVERYTHING TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28

Kathy, my wife, had gone through this cancer journey many years earlier. I remember watching her fight this battle with cancer and we decided to face it with a lot of prayer and the miracle of medicine. Drawing from this, within ten to fifteen minutes of receiving the news, my mind started to move to Faith.

The beauty of cancer is that it gives you the opportunity to change. I’ve written goals my entire life, and generally speaking, many of my goals show up on next year’s list because I didn’t do as well as I would have liked the previous year. Contemplating that I may only have three years left, changed that. 

I have always loved to journal and reduce my thoughts to writing. During my time of treatment I found myself reflecting on whether I was investing my time, talent, and resources exactly how I and God desired.  It was an intense spiritual time and God spoke a lot of things to me.If someone had told me beforehand, “Paul, you’re going to be diagnosed with cancer and you’re going to have five things you want to change in your life.” I would have thought that made sense. But if they had said, “Paul, there’s thirty-five things that you’re going to want change in your life.” I would have said, “No way!” Reason being, I have always lived my life in an intentional manner. Thinking through things and being on track with where I believe God wants me to be. Yes, there is always room for improvement – but thirty-five? There’s just no way!

However, through my own personal prayer, prayers from family and friends; God’s voice was amplified. Over a ninety-day period of prayer and journaling He gave me thirty-five changes that I wanted to make in my life.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:3–5

HOPE NEVER DISAPPOINTS

Once you’ve had cancer, everyone around you supports you in your desired way much better than normal. The wonderful thing about every change I desired to implement in my life, is if I truly only have three years left (if my cancer returns), these are all great changes and even if I have thirty years left, they are still great changes.  A few of these changes I have wanted to make for a long time and I now find that having wrestled with cancer, the changes are actually easier to make. I had already begun to implement over half of these changes, and it feels great. I am confident they will last for the rest of my life. 

My hope and prayer for you is that reading my experience will somehow encourage and inspire you to make a few course corrections to help ensure you are moving more towards the person God is calling you to be in life.  

ACTION STEPS:

I’ve shared a copy of my list of 35 Changes. But I hope it does not end there for you. After you read how I was inspired to change my life, I encourage you to take some time to contemplate your own life. Set aside an extended quiet time to sit, think, pray and journal about what you would do different if you only had three years left to live. Think through, as best as you can: Am I where I want to be? Am I living life the way I want to live?  You may be surprised what you hear.